-Turkey Day-
I've realized the older you get the more awkward it can be to be around family. Don't get me wrong, me and my relatives are very close and we have great relationships with eachother and have way too much fun together. I love em dearly! It just seems that the older i've gotten, i've just gotten a new prospective on things and its actually a little frustrating. I'll try to explain...
My explanation beings upon our arrival to my dad's sister's house in albany on Wed. afternoon. Hugs are given, food is munched on, dinner is eaten, the usual you know... yeah we had fun but it just all seems so fake to me the older i've gotten, Fake meaning we are just going thru the motions of "family holiday times" you know? Yet for some reason i choose to be fake also in a way... the casual conversations, playing silly games & watching T.V. The question runs thru my mind... "So, you can talk about Jesus comfortably with friends at school and immediate family but why not your relatives?" Whom i love and care for just as much as my friends and immediate family! Why can't i be intentional with my conversations instead of tuning everyone out and watching t.v. like everyone else is doing so i don't have to talk to anybody? This burden is good but its just a little confusing cause i can't figure out a solution... Any thoughts?
Going to bed... fat and happy,
-Blessings-
My explanation beings upon our arrival to my dad's sister's house in albany on Wed. afternoon. Hugs are given, food is munched on, dinner is eaten, the usual you know... yeah we had fun but it just all seems so fake to me the older i've gotten, Fake meaning we are just going thru the motions of "family holiday times" you know? Yet for some reason i choose to be fake also in a way... the casual conversations, playing silly games & watching T.V. The question runs thru my mind... "So, you can talk about Jesus comfortably with friends at school and immediate family but why not your relatives?" Whom i love and care for just as much as my friends and immediate family! Why can't i be intentional with my conversations instead of tuning everyone out and watching t.v. like everyone else is doing so i don't have to talk to anybody? This burden is good but its just a little confusing cause i can't figure out a solution... Any thoughts?
Going to bed... fat and happy,
-Blessings-
posted by Bensonator at
9:53 PM
1 Comments:
Hey,
we know from scripture that Messiah said "Only in his own home is a prophet without honor." When he comes to his hometown, scripture tells us that he could not do many miracles. "And he was amazed at their lack of faith." I think part of the issue among family is the simple fact that they know you. For the most part, they've known you since you were teeny-weeny. Especially if you're faced with talking to relatives like uncles and aunts, they knew you when you were not what you are now, i.e., a believer. Somewhere inside we know that, and we feel as if they will discount our words because of that fact. Take Messiah's example.. When he taught in his home town, they said, "Isn't this Jesus, the son of Mary and Joseph? Aren't his brothers James and John? Aren't his sisters all here with us?" Basically, "Who do you think you are? Don't come preaching to us as if you're something special. We know you."
So that's the battle we face at home. Familiarity, which allows for the ease of dismissing your opinion as unimportant, as child talk (if they are older).
The other part is likely an uneasiness in our own heart that our relatives will judge us, laugh, or call us nuts. But the fear of being spurned tends to get the better of us.
There could also be just the desire for peace. When we don't want to start any religious debate fires, we usually just keep quiet, especially if we know there is one person in the room who will debate us to death...
And then, so that the blame is not entirely on others, sometimes it is just a matter of our passion. Because we don;t see how much confidence our Rabbi has in us, we don't think we have what it takes, and we let other doubts crowd in. We are reminded of former failures, and so when the door opens to say anything about the one we call Adonai and Savior, we let it pass.
Take heart, all is not lost. For scripture tells us that "If the L-rd delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the L-rd upholds him with his hand."
If you think you have stumbled, don't sit there beating yourself up. Messiah stands on the path, looking at you with an earnest gaze. "Get up; dust yourself off.. there is much left I still have for you to do." Let his confidence permeate. You will not fall, for he upholds you in his hand.
Baruch HaShem
By
Handmaiden, at 2:52 PM
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